Happy Mother's Day

Dear Caden and Adele,

Thank you for letting me celebrate another mother's day; my first as a mother of two. This weekend was amazing. Spending Saturday at a winery, with friends, watching Caden climb all over a pile of dirt while daddy held Adele was relaxing and beyond enjoyable.

Sunday going to soccer, which you don't enjoy yet, and then Airlie Conference Center for Mother's day brunch followed by a walk around the grounds and planting some flowers in this year's garden. Caden, watching you strip naked and run through the sprinkler was priceless and I apologize ahead of time for encouraging daddy to film it. We HAD to. :)

Adele, you are such a doll, I am beside myself with affection for you. You smile and laugh at everything. You absolutely adore Caden and positively light up when you see him. You began to crawl a few days ago and nothing gets in your way. I hope you carry that determination with you throughout life.

I love you both with such an amazing amount of love, it's difficult to convey through mere words. The words just aren't strong enough. My heart simply expands when I think of the two of you. One of my greatest fears is that before I know it, I will be an old lady looking at back on our life...having more days behind me than ahead.

This is such a precious time in my life. A time I dreamt of without knowing how to dream it because unless you have children, it's nearly impossible to define the feelings.

I am so grateful to the two of you. I am so happy of the fact that you have made me a mother. I am extremely proud and honored at the privilege of being able to raise you both into self-confident, kind, caring, happy people. I want nothing more for you than to have the joy you have brought to me.

I love you both with every fiber in my body. Every cell that makes me move, breathe, eat, and live does so for you. Every action I make, throughout everyday is to ensure you are both safe, well-cared for, happy, and loved.

I love you both endlessly.

Love always, forever and ever, and one more day,

Momma

New Outlook

April was a maddeningly hectic month. We celebrated Easter with friends, took Caden to the circus, hosted Adele's Baptism, had work done on the house, prepared to refinance our house, finished the playset for Caden's birthday, participated in a Mud Run, Caden started soccer and I wrapped up my work for the March of Dimes which included executing walk day for my county, helping with walk day in another county, pulling off a few unsuccessful fundraisers...AND I managed to land a gig with non-other than the Governor of VA's sister in law.

Holy crap...April was busy.

New Windows!

Hunting for Eggs with Hayden

Soccer with one of his best little friends

I have to admit that I'm quite relieved to see May upon us. Pools will open at the end of the month, my contract with MOD has expired, my calendar has freed up, and my main duties will be to pull off an awesome event in June for my newest client, continue to promote the farm, and schedule endless playdates for Caden so when he's older he will look fondly at his childhood and the long summer days spent with friends. I don't put too much pressure on myself.

Oh and how can I forget the other milestones in April? Caden ditched the pacifier all together, although he still cries for it when excessively tired or upset, but a quick distraction generally helps, AND we began potty training.

I'm so endlessly proud of this kid. He has been a major champ when it comes to the potty. It's been just over a week when we decided to go cold-turkey with the diapers. We just stopped one day and threw him in underware and let him pee on himself and explained it from there.

He's doing very well...mostly because he is awarded a Dum Dum after every successful pee trip. The kid is living on Dum Dums.

The big event for May? Dentist. Yup, that's right. After plowing him with Dum Dums for 10 days straight, I thought, "huh, perhaps I get his teeth checked out". So we'll go on Thurs.

Other major happenings? Somehow, without my looking half a year flew by and Adele is now a 6-month-old insanely adorable baby.

She is absolutely a riot. The kid has no time to develop...she MUST move...NOW! When she is in her BUMBO, she angles herself and uses one leg to push herself around the floor (or table until we put a stop to putting her up there). The other day she pushed herself over to Bennie to give him a pat.

She is so adorable and lovely and I love her so much...which is great because she is STILL (yes, even at 6 months) getting up numerous times each night. Last night was a good one though. She slept from 12:00 until 5:40. That's MAJOR. That has NOT happened before. I hope it happens again.

These children continue to impress and surprise us on an hourly basis. We are so lucky and beyond blessed to have a house filled with little-boy pee droplets and babygirl spit up.

I hope we never overlook all our blessings!

Little Boy in the Big City

I'm not a city person. There is little that appeals to me in a city. Yes, there is great food all over the place and I can buy milk or wine any time of the day or night. But I can't watch the woods thicken as the leaves begin to grow. I can't hear the fox cry or the hawk scream. I can't see the stars as clearly or feel the spring blossoms fall through the air.

I love the country setting.

This past weekend we went to New York for a wedding. It was a long, expensive weekend and I'm fairly certain our attendance was neither noted nor appreciated, because that's how some people are.

But we went none-the-less.

We went because it was the right thing to do. We went because hearing the back lash from not going is so not worth it. We went because we are so bloody rich, spending upwards of $3,000 on someone neither of us even speaks with is totally okay with us. Not like we have two kids and a mortgage to consider.

It was very nice to see some of our family members who we've not seen in a long time and it was a ton of fun to get all dressed up, eat good food, drink nice champagne, and dance in a beautiful room.

We're not morons, we recognize and appreciate beautiful things. And Manhattan may be dirty and filled with too many people, but it also houses beautiful things.

And above all else, I got to see my sweet little boy dun a tux and my darling little girl all dolled up in an over-the-top-adorable dress. She was passed around the reception room like a flask at a bachelor party.

We walked to Rockefeller Center and shopped at the Lego store before the wedding festivities. Following said festivities, we got in the car and spent our remaining $30 on tolls returning home.

And today, the windows are open, the sun is shining, and warm smells of spring fill the air and we are home. Where we belong. Far from the city.

Three Years Ago

Three years ago was the eve of Caden's due date. I anxiously awaited indications that he (or she) was on his (or her) way.

It wasn't until MAR18 at 7:00pm while I spoke with my sister on an uncharacteristically warm March evening that something started to happen. By 1:30am on MAR19, we were on our way to the hospital and at 5:33 that afternoon Caden Michael entered my life.

These past three years I've watched an infant become a baby and a baby become a little boy. A little boy with thoughts and ideas and a personality all his own. Shaped by his parents but fine-tuned by him.

Caden is an amazing little being. He is happy and healthy and loving and smart and has two parents who adore every inch of him. He loves tractors, dinosaurs, airplanes, cars, trucks, balls, trains and bubbles and probably a million other things I can't think of right now. He has us read two pirate books and the Itsy Bitsy spider book every evening. He can recite all of them almost perfectly.

Caden has endless energy. He loves to be around other kids and tends to outlast them on many occasions.

This week we visited a preschool where he will go in the fall with his "best friend" Ian. He will take soccer beginning APR01 and swim classes at the end of April. He will be the ring bearer in Shawn's cousin's wedding this fall. He will wear his first tuxedo next weekend.

Caden loves his sister.

He calls her Dell and kisses her and loves to check on her. He also blames his smelly messes on her.

Someday he will be potty trained, we hope someday soon but have our doubts. He has peed precisely once on the potty...on JAN31...and not since.

Caden loves chocolate, milk, chocolate milk, Gatorade, juice, chai lattes, chick fil a chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and cheerios. He's not the best eater. He tastes broccoli and occasionally eats string beans.

He loves to be outside. He'll do anything just to be out there. Throw rocks, swing sticks, chase bees...any number of things that will land him in the ER (again).

In a few weeks we hope to have his playset completely assembled. It is now a playset in pieces. We hope he and Adele love it for years and years.

I can't believe how much I can love a little boy. My little boy. A little boy who I have had the privilege of raising for three years now. I am completely honored to be his mother. When he tells me he loves me or that I'm his best friend, he makes my heart melt.

We love you Caden and we hope you have a wonderful birthday party tomorrow!

Happiest of Birthdays to you!!

Snow

I'm starting to think I'm the only person who longs for a lazy snow day.

I want to wake up with the world blanketed white. With all the sounds of nature and man muted by the fall of heavy snow flakes.

I want to stretch and look outside and know that there is no where we need to go, no where we need to be, nothing that has to be done because the weather has given us a time out.

We can spend the day playing games inside, bundled up for trips outside, show Caden his winter wonderland and introduce Adele to the white stuff her mommy loves so much.

In my opinion, there is little better than a Saturday Snow Storm. A break in otherwise hectic schedules to pause, breathe, and enjoy the beauty of a snow covered landscape.

A beautiful day on the cul du sac

It's FINALLY Friday!

Friday means as much to a stay-at-home-mom as it does to a working mom. I long for 7pm on Friday when Shawn strolls through the door offering his help and comic relief.

I can actually go to the bathroom with leisure after 7pm!

And I know that Sat morning is just around the corner and I can sleep in until around 9:30, with Baby Doll on my arm of course, but I'll take it.

Tomorrow we are getting her three month pictures with Caden in a few. I can't wait...I guess I should comb the closets to find something precious for them both to wear. Hope I remember to do that.

Last night Adele went from 2:30 until 6:15...I'll round it up and give her the full 4 hours between feedings. Of course I was up feeding her from 2:30-3:00...but I have been told that feedings count from the beggining of the feeding...not the end. In any case, I got over 3 hours of consecutive sleep at one time last night.

Rejoice people, rejoice. I may live another day.

What am I doing here?

I'm losing my mind and somewhat terrified.

Lately I have the absolute inability to remember things. Not only can I not remember things, I can't remember to make lists to help me remember.

Driving home the other day, I was looking at the trees thinking what a pretty fall it was. FALL!!! It was January!! I can't remember what day it is, what I should be doing, what groceries we need, what work-related tasks I have to accomplish. I can't remember anything.

The terrified part comes in when I think I've left Adele somewhere. This has happened a number of times...we're driving along and I have a complete panic attack trying to remember if I put her in the car. I only reassure myself when I see the carseat (or her in it) in the back of the car.

I believe this is caused by sleep-deprivation. For three months I've slept in 2.5 hour increments...with the occasional blessed 4 hours, and horrific 45 minutes. Add to this the fact I can NOT get over being sick, and you have a rapidly aging, mom of two.

Adele is my baby doll. I love her to pieces and cherish every morning where she is sleeping on my arm nestled in the bed next to me. And this is EVERY morning b/c I give up around 5am and bring her into the bed where I spend 2 hours 1/2 sleeping, 1/2 holding a paci in her mouth.

We don't really know what to do about this.

We've tried my pumping at night and adding 1 tbls to the milk in an attempt to stuff her. That bought us about 20 minutes. Last night she slept in her carseat b/c she's all congested (mommy likes to share) and she coughs when she's laying down. That didn't buy us squat.

Shawn has started to give her the last bottle in the evening, so I can sleep a bit more. This is sorta working.

I can't nap during the day (usually) because I get all wired and then have trouble sleeping...what the hell is that irony? I'm flipping exhausted but can't sleep b/c I'm so exhausted. Seriously!??!

I'm open to suggestions.