The Awakening

In the Fall of 1999, I married my first husband. A nice enough guy who I met my senior year of college. He liked me. I was surprised by that. As time went on, he seemed to like me enough to marry me. And so we did.

And he moved me to Virginia. The single greatest thing that ever happened to me. It saved my life.

In that move, I learned who I was. I was removed from brain-washing manipulation, the likes of which you really only hear about. All ties were cut. I was free. Free to learn who I was, and most importantly, who I was NOT.

It became clear to me that the life I had signed up for, was not for me. I was miserable. And it wasn't so much my husband's fault as it was my fault for not knowing more about myself when I married him.

So, in a painful, yet necessary decision. I left.

The following year was hell. I was overwhelming depressed and broken.

That was the year of my awakening. I spent a solid year beating myself up and going over and over and over in my head what could possibly be wrong with me.

Here it is a decade later and I finally know.

There is NOTHING wrong with me. There is, however, an enormous amount wrong with other people. People so badly broken, they are shattered. People who have no grip on reality. Who live in a fictitious world made up of convenient truths.

I am eternally grateful for the miles between me and those people. I am eternally grateful to myself for staying in VA after my divorce. I am grateful for my current husband, who truly loves me and each of my many flaws. I now know unconditional love.

And I am grateful that I learned all this while my children are still young. So they will NEVER be exposed to the World of Fiction in which I was raised.

They will know the real world. Where the sky is blue.