Calm Before the Storm

After a marathon weekend, things have quieted down somewhat. I spent all day Saturday coordinating a wedding and it turned out beautifully. I'm so pleased with the outcome. The owner of the farm where the wedding was held is considering hiring me as a contractor to handle events on his property. To say I'm excited is an understatement! I'm in the wait and see mode of this opportunity.

www.fleurdelisflair.com

I'm frantically trying to market myself and get more gigs lined up for next year. Since I'm not a marketer, this is totally trial by error. I am coming up empty handed a lot. But I'll keep trying. It's a friggin' blast and I love it.

We are 6 weeks away from welcoming Peanut to the family. I think we have both our girl and boy names determined. We need to let the boy name percolate a bit...see how it fits.

Over the next few weeks, we will focus on getting Caden into his big boy bed overnight and begin pulling out baby stuff. I have lots of clothes to go through and sort.

I am so unbelievably excited to see if Caden will have a brother or sister. I am equally excited about both. I always imagined boys being a hoot to raise (as mine tears through the house with wreckless abandon) and of course the thought of Shawn having a little girl wrapped around his finger melts my heart.

6 quick weeks until that mystery is solved.

Sweet Dreams

I had such a wonderful dream last night that I tried to return to it so it would continue.

It was an afterlife dream. I dreamt that Shawn and I were walking around France (where else would I be?) after life and I was showing him things that meant something to me.

When all of a sudden, my sweet Meme stepped out of nowhere and was there and gave me a HUGE hug. She passed away in 2000, so it was a real treat to see her again and feel her hug.

She never met Shawn, so I introduced them.

And unfortunately, this was the point where I woke up and the closeness to my Meme slipped away. Maybe she was just thinking of me and wanted to say hello.

I think of her a lot. Perhaps not for the best reason though. He eldest son passed away when he was only 3 from Leukemia and as Caden approaches that age, I can't help but think of how tragic it would be to lose him...from anything.

As an old lady in the hospital around the age of 95, she asked for Baby. She never stopped loving him and thinking of him. And it gives me comfort to know she has been able to hold him for the past 11 years to make up for all the hugs he was deprived of from a life cut short.

Hope to see you again soon in my dreams, Meme.

Disappointment

I didn't get the job. I am so disappointed. Not to sound to self-promoting, but I honestly cannot imagine the credentials of the person who got the job and how they could have surpassed my own for this position. I have a Masters Degree in Writing and Editing and the position was assisting the Editor in Chief. I have almost 8 combined years of experience in related areas. I was willing to take the low salary, no benefits, and part time hours. And most importantly, I really wanted the work.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE staying home with Caden. And I will love staying home with the new baby and only unless absolutely necessary would we put them in daycare.

But that's not to say I love not being paid; the sacrifices we have made and will continue to make; the lack of office-relationships; the lack of kudos from peers for a job well-done; the raises, bonuses and perks that come with work; applying my hard-earned degree and work experience; using my brain; feeling appreciated...is this list long enough?

The at-home opportunity, flexible hours, field, and industry were all PRECISELY what I was looking for. The added income would have been helpful in so many ways, and I'm truly disappointed. I'm disappointed in myself for having blown it. I'm disappointed that the man hiring for the position did not see potential in me and recognize what a great fit I was for the position.

A-choo!!

After a completely insane week, that did not include killing our third, and last dog, I have a cold and still have one remaining dog. Thank goodness!

After burying Koti and seeing the turtle and blah blah blah I had to wipe the tears and carry on b/c I had someone's dream wedding to turn into reality. And you know what? I totally stepped up and made sure this bride had the most fabulous wedding ever seen.

And it totally was. Thank you very much!

After spending hours there on Thurs to set up lighting, and more hours Thurs night to set out more lighting and Friday rehearsing and watching caterers bring in glasses, spoons, knives and chairs...lots of chairs, I returned on Sat. morning in blinding rain and heart-stopping thunder/lightening.

It was at this time that the Father of the Bride repeatedly said, "It can't keep up like this, it just can't." Although it did, for hours. Many, many hours.

Around 2pm (three hours after I got there and a mere three until the guests were scheduled to arrive--although they actually arrived at 4:00) we began dressing tables, setting out decorations, cleaning up, lighting candles, setting our chairs, rearranging chairs, distributing programs, setting out lanterns, etc. etc. etc...

I was an enormous ball of sweat. A big, fat, almost 8-month-pregnant, rotund ball of sweat having the time of her life.

My business has existed for almost two years. And this was the first wedding that I was doing what I set out to do. I had so much fun. I LOVED seeing the beautiful bride whose family I have completely fallen in love with and her beaming groom. It was all so beautiful, and happy, and lovely and I am so so so happy that I had a part in making it happen.

I did it. I pulled it off. Now I want MORE GIGS!!!

My newly hired assistant and I have plans to market and spread the word and hopefully generate more biz.

But first I have to get rid of this cold.

I got home around 11pm Sat night. Sunday around 2:00 my dearest, oldest, to-be-Godmother of my baby, and her hub came over with their dog and we celebrated her pregnancy, my pregnancy and the happiness filling our lives! It was a blast!

They left today and I had a meeting with a planning committee for LUNA Fest, which I am helping to coordinate for the county, and then a Dr. appt, when I learned Peanut is measuring larger than Caden did and I have to shove a larger baby out of my vag.

Somewhere among all this complete insanity, my nose started running and my throat started to ache, my head to pound. And now I feel like death warmed over.

But it's okay, b/c this is life. This is my life. Tomorrow Caden's furniture comes and next weekend we will spend oodles of cash buying everything in the world a toddler needs to feel happy and warm and safe and beyond loved in his big boy room.

Have I mentioned that these are the happiest days of my life? Cause they are. And anyone who tries to get in the way, don't waste your time. We will simply stop speaking and I will continue to be boundlessly happy. I don't have time, interest, or patience for idiots or their idiocy.

A little company

I went out to the compost pile, which ironically is located next to the grave for the pups.

While I was there, I walked over to the grave and saw this little guy taking a walk around the stones on top of the grave.

Something about it was quite comforting. This little turtle was just taking a walk and found nice refuge there among the stones marking the resting place of our pups.

We miss them so much. The house is so empty and vacant. There are no barks, no little feet slipping on the wood to scramble to the door, no one sits under the dinner table to catch scraps, no one sits in the front window. It's just a very different house.

Bennie mopes around, clearly the missing his brother and sister.

While it feels sorta silly to miss dogs so much, at the same time, it's nice to know how much we loved them and how much they meant to us.