Dear Birth Mother

I know very little about adoption other than it's wicked expensive and can take an eternity. There is one other thing I know...I need to write a letter to the birth mother.

Dear Birth Mother.....(crickets, silence, crinkling of paper as I scrap this and start over)

How does one write this letter? A LETTER introducing yourself to the woman who is potentially carrying your child? A letter...just a letter. Where does one begin? I've been drafting and rewriting this letter for years. I have a Master's degree in writing that is useless when it comes to pouring out my heart onto a piece of paper.

I suppose part one would begin with Thanks.

Thank you for reading this. Thank you for not flipping past my letter and on to the next one. Thank you for looking through this book at all. Thank you for not calling the clinic and having your "situation taken care of". Thank you for giving the life growing within you a chance, an opportunity, an actual life. The mere fact you're reading these words speaks volumes about who you are and the dreams that you have not only for yourself, but for your baby.

Which would bring me to the second part of the letter: Don't Worry.

It isn't easy to reassure someone about such a monumental decision. Don't worry...I forget to feed my dogs occasionally, but I won't forget to feed the baby! (as I automatically look to my right at the dogs' bowls...yup, full.) But in all seriousness, I need to convey to the birthmother that her baby will be in good hands. That after having my son and going back to work, I spent all day, every day for two months looking for opportunities from home. And that after finding those full time opportunities, I sought part time ones because I couldn't deprive my son of my full attention. That I would gladly give up any number of things to care for my own child. Now, after two years, I'm a PT worker and a FT mom. He goes to daycare for a few hours each week and even that isn't a year-round.

I believe adoption is a Win-Win-Win situation. (There is a reference to The Office here).

The birthmother, who I assume has come to the conclusion that it isn't the ideal time in her life to raise a baby, is given an opportunity to finish school or focus on other things.

The adoptive family is given an incomparable gift. A gift of such greatness there aren't words to describe how stupendous it is. Being robbed of the opportunity to create life themselves, they are given that opportunity by a stranger.

The baby is given a home in which he/she can thrive. Develop into a toddler, a child, a teenager, and finally an adult. Where needs will be met and wants fulfilled. Where growth and development are fostered and encouraged.

Adoption let's us all win.