Snow

I'm starting to think I'm the only person who longs for a lazy snow day.

I want to wake up with the world blanketed white. With all the sounds of nature and man muted by the fall of heavy snow flakes.

I want to stretch and look outside and know that there is no where we need to go, no where we need to be, nothing that has to be done because the weather has given us a time out.

We can spend the day playing games inside, bundled up for trips outside, show Caden his winter wonderland and introduce Adele to the white stuff her mommy loves so much.

In my opinion, there is little better than a Saturday Snow Storm. A break in otherwise hectic schedules to pause, breathe, and enjoy the beauty of a snow covered landscape.

A beautiful day on the cul du sac

It's FINALLY Friday!

Friday means as much to a stay-at-home-mom as it does to a working mom. I long for 7pm on Friday when Shawn strolls through the door offering his help and comic relief.

I can actually go to the bathroom with leisure after 7pm!

And I know that Sat morning is just around the corner and I can sleep in until around 9:30, with Baby Doll on my arm of course, but I'll take it.

Tomorrow we are getting her three month pictures with Caden in a few. I can't wait...I guess I should comb the closets to find something precious for them both to wear. Hope I remember to do that.

Last night Adele went from 2:30 until 6:15...I'll round it up and give her the full 4 hours between feedings. Of course I was up feeding her from 2:30-3:00...but I have been told that feedings count from the beggining of the feeding...not the end. In any case, I got over 3 hours of consecutive sleep at one time last night.

Rejoice people, rejoice. I may live another day.

What am I doing here?

I'm losing my mind and somewhat terrified.

Lately I have the absolute inability to remember things. Not only can I not remember things, I can't remember to make lists to help me remember.

Driving home the other day, I was looking at the trees thinking what a pretty fall it was. FALL!!! It was January!! I can't remember what day it is, what I should be doing, what groceries we need, what work-related tasks I have to accomplish. I can't remember anything.

The terrified part comes in when I think I've left Adele somewhere. This has happened a number of times...we're driving along and I have a complete panic attack trying to remember if I put her in the car. I only reassure myself when I see the carseat (or her in it) in the back of the car.

I believe this is caused by sleep-deprivation. For three months I've slept in 2.5 hour increments...with the occasional blessed 4 hours, and horrific 45 minutes. Add to this the fact I can NOT get over being sick, and you have a rapidly aging, mom of two.

Adele is my baby doll. I love her to pieces and cherish every morning where she is sleeping on my arm nestled in the bed next to me. And this is EVERY morning b/c I give up around 5am and bring her into the bed where I spend 2 hours 1/2 sleeping, 1/2 holding a paci in her mouth.

We don't really know what to do about this.

We've tried my pumping at night and adding 1 tbls to the milk in an attempt to stuff her. That bought us about 20 minutes. Last night she slept in her carseat b/c she's all congested (mommy likes to share) and she coughs when she's laying down. That didn't buy us squat.

Shawn has started to give her the last bottle in the evening, so I can sleep a bit more. This is sorta working.

I can't nap during the day (usually) because I get all wired and then have trouble sleeping...what the hell is that irony? I'm flipping exhausted but can't sleep b/c I'm so exhausted. Seriously!??!

I'm open to suggestions.