Just a few zzzs please

It was so much easier with Caden. Wow... All I had to do was sit behind a desk for a few hours and then lay on the couch. This go-around, I have to chase a 2-year-old around, wrap-up some work (with a contract that is nearly over) and of course remember to fill the dog bowls at least once every three days. Occasionally my husband gets hungry for actual meals too, but thankfully he's good with a sandwich too. I get soooo tired. And when I lay down or take a nap, I could lay there all day. I don't have much in the way of an appetite either. It is touch and go until dinner time and then I tend to eat a normal meal. Most of the time I just want tomato juice. Damn I love that stuff! As a result I've lost a few pounds. I was told yesterday that I looked like I had lost a "ton of weight". I had no idea I'd gained a ton of weight!!! Meanwhile, in the past few weeks we celebrated Caden's 2nd birthday! He got a ton of toys despite our asking friends and family to not go overboard. He looked beyond adorable in his Saks 5th Avenue suit with shorts and suspenders, courtesy of Nana and Gramps. I've gotta get the pictures off the camera. It was too cute. He had his 2-year doctor appointment yesterday and he's doing wonderfully! The doctor was thrilled with this development and his language and motor skills. He can put three and four word sentences together and communicates beautifully. We were told that we shouldn't see too much of the terrible twos b/c he does communicate so well. Let's see if that's true. I saw a glimpse of that horror while returning something at Walmart earlier today. If the weather would warm up a bit, we could actually go outside. But it's been gloomy and rainy/sleety/snowy. Just miserable. Can't wait for spring!! I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of the 2nd trimester so I can breathe a little easier. It takes so much for us to just become pregnant, I'm not sure I could handle a loss. We are careful to whisper our dreams and try not to make too many big plans. Aside from family at the party, no one even knows peanut is with us. But he/she is and we are so happy and I just can't believe that there was a day when I didn't think one baby would grace our lives. And now we may be blessed with two. I am truly the richest person in the world. There is nothing more I need or want. I feel beyond blessed with all that is within these four walls.

Change of Plans

I'd be lying if I said this was a total surprise, because it is NOT!! It was always a possibility, we just chose to set it aside until further notice.

I'm pregnant. I'm almost 8 weeks pregnant! So adopting, for the moment, is on the back burner.

While I am beyond thrilled about being pregnant, I would be lying if I said part of me did not grieve just a little for not adopting. It was something that I was extremely excited about and looking forward. A daunting process, yes. But one that I was ready for.

Here's what happened. While we waited for our tax return to arrive to get the home study process started, we were told about a pharmaceutical company that was working with practices, including ours, to test a new drug, currently being used in Europe. If eligible for the study, the round of IVF was FREE.

There was no way we could turn this down. So on to IVF #3 which was a success.

I didn't mention this at all because over the summer we had a failed cycle and there was no way we could afford to do IVF again with the possibility of failiure. Adoption with guaranteed success was much more appealing.

And we didn't even get in the first time we tried. So there was the uncertainty of eligibility as well.

But it's over and behind us and now we are happily awaiting another baby. We saw peanut's heartbeat last week and I'll get to see it again tomorrow.

It's going to be a wonderful summer preparing the house and Caden for another baby.

We are beyond thrilled!